Family

My family is very important to me. We are together this weekend at a hotel with a pool. Both of my sisters are married with children, and I love to play with my nephews.

Even though most of the weekend will be fun, I'm sitting quietly by myself in a strange hotel, wondering how my life will change in the next weeks. I'm also enjoying the fact that this should be the last time I'm "solo" at a family outing. Soon, I'll have a family of my own. I'm so proud of that.

I'm also completely freaked out. I worry about everything that can go wrong and everything that I don't know. I usually like to be prepared, so I've been reading a lot about adoption parenting, etc. But I know enough to know that I don't know everything. And, right before I start to hyperventilate, I take a really deep breath and let out a long sigh. EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. I HAVE FAITH. I remember my social workers, family and friends that I can turn to. And I remember how important starting my own family is to me. I can't wait to have my own family. I can't wait to be a mom!

More Background...

I have no children, but hope to be blessed with an adopted baby girl, less than 18 months old, from Russia. I thought about a baby from Ethiopia, but am concerned about future problems as a multi-racial family. I have decided that I need as many things on my side as possible, in order to give me the best chance of a successful adoption. In my opinion, special needs children are outside of my skill level, and a younger child will help reduce attachment disorder and adjustment problems.

I started the process in June 2005 by contacting a social worker in Madison and working through the home study process. I then gathered documentation on my health, finances, insurance, guardianship, taxes, employment history and references from friends and family. I also had several back-ground checks completed. I submitted my dossier to the Russian Ministry of Education on December 13, 2005, and was told that the wait would be 8-10 months. I thought the wait would be easy.

Back in September, I received a referral for a 15-month-old girl. She seemed physically healthy but developmentally very delayed. Throughout the adoption process, I’ve been warned to expect delays because the children are institutionalized. However, she had more delays than normal. Institutionalized children typically have one month of delay for every three months of age. The little girl was able to sit independently, but wasn’t making any attempts to crawl, stand, or walk. After agonizing over the details, I decided to turn that referral down and wait for the next one. I felt terrible turning her down, and hope that she will find a home with a family that is prepared to handle a special needs child.

Typical medical reports from Russian baby homes (orphanages) are misleading, and I am trusting my agency and God to lead me. I will work through developmental delays with the help of early intervention programs. I know that they will assess Grace and provide therapy to help her catch up. I hope she will thrive with good nutrition, nurturing, and love.

Motherhood...

Overall, I see a giant change to my life, one that I am looking forward to. I hope to feel more joy from the care and nurturing that I will give my child. I hope to build a family that will grow as years go by. In my opinion, the most important job in the entire world is raising a child, and I would like to have the opportunity to make an imprint in the life of my little girl. I hope that she will grow to be a responsible, respectful adult. Of course, I hope that she will have the same interests as myself, but I also plan to expose her to as many opportunities as possible. I would like her to travel the world and meet as many people as possible. She will surely spend lots of time with her extended family, learning and loving from all of them.

I hope that this adoption will give us both a new opportunity for happiness and comfort. I want to be the world for Grace. I want her world to revolve around me. I want to love her and be loved in return. I want to watch her sleep. Sing her lullabies. Take care of her. I want to be the mommy. More than anything, I want to be a mother.

Merry Christmas!

I received the BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER this year: a referral from Tver, Russia. I'm adopting! My referral is a little girl, 16 months old with blonde hair and blue eyes.

About Me...

Wait a minute. Let’s back up a little. I am Kelly, a single woman living in Wisconsin. I am a hopeful adoptive mother. I own my home, have a cat named Peaches, and can’t wait to be a mother!

I started working on the paperwork for adoption back in June 2005. This process has been a journey of discovery about myself and what's important in life.

I received “the call” from my international adoption agency, Children’s Hope International (CHI) on December 14, 2006. I was sitting at my desk, typing an email, when the telephone rang. I had been working with my social worker to update the dossier during the previous few weeks, so when Caller ID displayed CHI, I assumed the call would be about paperwork.

Was I surprised when my social worker said that I had a referral! I couldn’t believe it. I kept saying my favorite phrase, “Shut up!” She emailed me pictures and a medical review. I was stunned. Amazed. Thrilled. And it was really hard to breathe.

I ran out of my office, wanting to scream at the top of my lungs, but I didn’t. Instead, I found some friends and dragged them into my office to look at the pictures. In one picture the little girl is standing up and looking at the camera with a little bit of surprise. In another picture she is squatting next to a toy truck and holding another toy in one hand. Developmentally, she was doing well.

To Russia with Love...

I received travel dates on December 22, 2006. It was a holiday from work and I was driving to downtown Madison to pick up documents that were getting apostilled at the Wisconsin Secretary of State’s Office. Once again, I thought it was just a standard phone call about paperwork. Instead, I heard that I had an invitation to travel on January 8 through January 14, 2007. Just two and a half weeks away!